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About Guaynabo

This gal, let’s call her Tammy – total slutbag, no shade! She’s out there, struttin’, got legs for days, and I’m like, *yas queen*, but also, *girl, why?* Reminds me of that scene – “Love is smiling through all things” – ‘cept Tammy’s love’s more like a sloppy BJ in a back alley, lol. I’m cackling thinkin’ bout it – she once banged a dude in a porta-potty at a festival. A PORTA-POTTY! Who does that? Tammy, that’s who – filthy and fearless, my kinda mess.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady, Doña Rosa, shows up. She’s like the neighborhood grandma, always baking and giving out pastelillos. She starts yelling at José, “You’re being a fool! Let the man do his job!” I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. Doña Rosa is a legend.

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