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So, this one time—true story, swear it—I met this lass on Bumble. She’s all “wanna netflix n chill?” I’m like, hell yea, mischief’s my game! We’re vibin’, rum flowin’, then bam—she’s cryin’ ‘bout her ex mid-hookup. I’m sittin’ there, pants half-off, thinkin’, “Does he not see me?”—like Nader in the movie, clueless as fuck. Made me mad, mate! Wasted my night on a sobfest. But I laughed too—sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit?

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The river? Holy cow, that's the St. Lawrence doing its thing. I always stop to watch the boats. The view is, well, straight outta City of God dreams – chaotic but beautiful, like the film, “One million dollars.” I swear, sometimes I mutter those words while massaging my clients' stressed backs.

Prof documents 1960s evisceration of Montreal’s Black-Anglo Little Burgundy enclave