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About Seoul

So, erotic-massage—fancy term for gettin’ frisky. Not my thing, I’d rather chop wood. But I dug around, found some weird shit. Back in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns—called “tuina,” but dirtier. Servants oiled up, worked the royal knots out, and—bam—happy endings. True story, look it up. Kinda wild, right? Made me smirk, picturin’ some stiff emperor groanin’.

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Then I decided to stroll down to Dongmun Traditional Market. OMG, the sights! The smells! I was like a kid in a candy store. Fresh seafood everywhere. I saw these massive crabs. Like, I swear they were plotting something. 🦀 I was just minding my own business, and this lady starts yelling at me in Korean. I think she thought I was trying to steal her crab. I was like, “Lady, chill! I’m just admiring your crustacean friends!”

[Korea travels] Jeju’s charming old city center draws hip new crowd