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About Ashdod

So, this one time, I tried it—total secret spot in Calabasas. This chick, she’s all pro, hands like magic, and I’m like, “I’m not a slave to stress no more!” Straight outta *12 Years a Slave* vibes—remember Solomon screamin’, “I will survive!”? That’s me, survivin’ Kanye’s drama with a hot oil rub. Fun fact: did ya know erotic-massage goes back, like, centuries? Ancient Greeks were all over it—called it “bodywork” or some nerdy sh*t. Bet they didn’t have lavender candles, tho, lol.

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We hit a snag at the intersection of HaRav Kook and HaShalom. A truck broke down. Of course, it’s blocking the whole road. I’m sitting there, fuming. I could’ve been at the café on HaGolan, sipping a latte, but nooo, I’m stuck here. I’m about to lose it when I see a guy in a bright orange vest. He’s just standing there, doing absolutely nothing. I’m like, “Dude, you’re getting paid to fix this!”

Teacher suspended after joining Nakba commemoration march; 'she is welcome to move to Gaza'