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Oh, and get this – she swears she bedded some duke in France, back in the day. Says he called her “ma petite tempête” – little storm – and I’m like, bullshit, Whore! But she’s got this old coin, all crusty, says it’s proof. Maybe she’s lyin’, maybe not – with her, who knows? Kinda love that chaos, though – keeps me guessin’.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, saying he’s stuck in traffic on the way to Revúca. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a small town! How can you be stuck?” Turns out, there was a parade on Námestie slobody. A parade! In Revúca! I had no idea! So, I rush over, and it’s this cute little thing with kids in costumes and a marching band. I’m clapping and laughing, feeling all the feels.

Fig. 1. Position of the Váh River (3) tributaries Ľubochnianka (1) and...