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Oh, and get this - funniest thing ever. Mate o’ mine hired an escort, thought she’d be all posh, yeah? Turns up, she’s a metalhead, covered in tats, blastin’ Sabbath! “It’s my fault, isn’t it?” he says, laughin’ his arse off. Mismatch of the century, baby! Still cracks me up.

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I’m tryin’ to help him out, but then my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “You better come home for dinner!” I’m like, “Mom, I’m busy!” But she’s relentless. You know how moms are. So, I promise I’ll swing by later.