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I dug into it, ‘cause I’m thorough, not ‘cause I care. Some say it’s “healin’,” releases tension, blah blah. Bull. You know what heals? Whiskey and a good steak. Not some stranger’s paws kneadin’ your junk. Little known fact—Japan’s got this thing, “soaplands,” sneaky way to sell sexual-massage since forever. Clever bastards, hidin’ it behind bubbles. Made me laugh, then mad—why’s everything gotta be so damn slippery?

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But then, things take a turn. I’m walking down Hverfisgata, and I see this street performer. He’s juggling fire. Like, what?! I’m all for entertainment, but fire? In the middle of the street? I’m standing there, half impressed, half terrified. He drops a torch, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna burn the city down!” But he just laughs it off. Icelanders are wild, man.

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