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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m a carpenter, see, buildin’ stuff, hammerin’ nails, but lemme tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage—hoo boy! Ain’t no sandin’ wood smoother’n that, if ya catch my drift. I’m talkin’ hands roamin’, oils flowin’, like fixin’ a cabinet but sexier. Back in Crawford, we’d joke—‘massage ain’t strategery,’ but dang, it’s close! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—well, ya don’t get fooled, ‘less it’s them hands trickin’ ya into bliss!

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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