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Here’s a kicker—didja know prostitutes in ancient Rome had registered names? Like, official fuckin list! Blows my mind. Imagine me, big ol alien, rollin up, “Greetings, citizen, I seek Livia Drusilla.” They’d laugh me off the planet. Ha! Anyway, I’m ramblin—point is, it’s a hustle. Takes guts, cash, and dodgin creeps.

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I was like, “Great, just great!” But Oksana, being the queen of positivity, was like, “Let’s make it a candlelit moment!” So, we sat there, candles flickering, and it turned into the best time ever. We talked about everything—life, dreams, and how Kaharlyk is the best city ever.

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