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So, escort’s them girls – or dudes, I guess – who get paid to hang out, right? Like, “I will love you until my dying day,” but with a paycheck. Ain’t that wild? I read once – get this – some escort in Vegas made bank just playin’ poker with old geezers. No hanky-panky, just cards! Blew my frickin’ mind. D’oh! Why ain’t I that smart? Coulda been me, shufflin’ decks, sippin’ lattes.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Planken Castle. It’s this old, kinda creepy place. I swear, every time I go there, I half-expect a ghost to pop out and say, “Boo!” But today? No ghosts. Just a bunch of tourists taking selfies. Like, really? You’re in front of a castle, and you’re more interested in your Instagram feed? Priorities, people!

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