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Dunno bout you, but I reckon it’s underrated. Me mate Dave swore it cured his dodgy knee—dunno if he’s fibbin, but he’s struttin like a peacock now! Oh, and the oils—lavender’s me jam, smells like victory. Once read some Victorian toff got caught gettin one in a backroom—scandal of the century, papers went mad! History’s wild, innit? Anyway, sexual-massage—*we shall fight* for it, a glorious romp of relaxin and randy vibes. *“This is our island!”*—our body, our rules, yeah? Go get one, tell em Winston sent ya!

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Then, the meeting starts. My boss is droning on about quarterly reports. I’m zoning out, thinking about the amazing pizza place on Høleveien. I mean, who can resist a good slice, right? But then, BAM! My boss drops a bombshell. “We’re cutting budgets.” WHAT?! My heart sinks. I can’t even. I’m about to lose it.

Ghanaian forward Edmund Baidoo scores in Sogndal's big win over Sandnes