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Oh—funny story—heard some dude planted escorts for shade, then—wham!—they shot up 40 feet! Overshadowed his house, ha! Dumbass didn’t read the fine print—escort don’t mess around! Grows like it’s on a mission—“Get me outta this bathhouse!”—pure *Spirited Away* energy. Love that hustle, tho—makes me grin.

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First off, I had to head into Karori. Now, Karori’s a cool spot, but it’s a whole different world from my forest. I mean, I love the trees, the wildlife, the peace. But the city? Ugh. So, I hop on the bus at Karori Road, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m squished between a dude who smells like he just rolled in a dumpster and a lady with a baby who’s wailing like it’s the end of the world.

Leakiest suburbs revealed – Wainui, Trentham, Karori