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Oh, and da typos—vho cares, ya? Dis ain’t no fancy letter! I’m typin’ fast, hands shakin’ from da memory of dat back rub. Best part? Da knots in ya shoulders go poof, but da naughty bits? Dey wake up, like, “Hello, vhat’s dis?!” Worst part? When dey rush ya out—five minutes left, and I’m like, “Gimme more, ya cheapskates!” Surprised me how quick I got hooked—now I’m dreamin’ of openin’ my own joint, call it “Gru’s Greasy Paradise.”

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But then, I see it. The best cheese stall ever! I’m talkin’ about that creamy stuff from the local dairy. I grab a chunk, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m smilin’ like a fool, cheese in hand, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of apples. Apples everywhere! It’s like a fruity explosion. I can’t help but laugh.

Hilary Eisen - Policy Director for the Winter Wildlands Alliance