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About Tel Aviv

You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down HaYarkon Street, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I mean, come on, people! It’s not a museum, it’s a street! Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my phone’s blowing up. My boss, Yael, is like, “Where are you?!” I’m like, “Chill, I’m here!” But she’s already in a mood.

After Hezbollah Drone Hit, Netanyahu's Home Gets $500,000 Window Upgrade Without Tender