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But real talk, it’s mad intimate. You gotta trust somebody to get that close. Ain’t like changin’ a tire—anybody can do that. This? It’s personal. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ some dude in a spa, tryna act cool while gettin’ all oiled up. Hilarious. Like, “Relax, bro, it’s just a massage!” But you know he’s sweatin’. *Tabu* got that same tension—every touch feels like a secret. “A story from another time,” they said in the flick. That’s erotic-massage, man—feels ancient, primal.

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So, I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me is taking forever. I mean, c’mon! It’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it when I finally get my latte. But then, guess what? I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and the barista just gives me this sympathetic smile. Ugh, thanks, but I don’t need your pity!

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