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Little factoid for ya—didja know escorts in old Rome were called *lupae*? Means she-wolves. How badass is that? Howlin’ at the moon, takin’ no shit. Makes me grin thinkin’ about it. One time, heard this story—some escort in Vegas, right, she’d stash glitter in her bag. Glitter! Said it was her “escape dust”—toss it and bolt if a john got weird. Laughed my ass off picturin’ that, sparkles flyin’, dude chokin’ on shimmer. Genius.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down Fisherman’s Wharf. The view is insane! The ocean, the boats, the whole vibe. I was feeling good again. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my sandwich! Like, really? I was just standing there, mouth agape, watching my lunch fly away. I yelled, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird didn’t care. It was like, “Sorry, dude, I’m hungry too.”

Old Harbour Bay residents seek refuge in high school