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What gets me stoked is how they hustle. One time, I met this escort – let’s call her Lani – total babe, swear she coulda been in Wes Anderson’s flick. She’s all, “I provide a service, like a hotel key.” Smooth, yeah? Made me think, “Such a very good hotel!” – classy but sneaky, just like M. Gustave. She told me she once had a client pay with a freakin rare pearl – no lie, brah! I was like, “Whoa, that’s some Dr. Evil-level loot!”

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After a few more drinks, I’m feeling better. We start talking about life, work, and all that jazz. I tell him about my job with the nomenclature of scientific specialties. He’s like, “Dude, that sounds boring.” I’m like, “Nah, it’s actually kinda cool!”

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