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Little-known fact, tho—back in the 90s, people used newspaper ads for this shit. “Horny cowboy seeks cowgirl”—fuckin’ wild, right? No filters, just raw desperation. Kinda romantic, if you squint. Makes me laugh thinkin’ how Jesse’d handle Tinder—probably shoot the damn screen when some chick unmatched him. “The devil’s own spawn!” he’d yell, all dramatic.

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up Calle 3. There’s this little market there, you know? I’m browsing, looking for some fresh fruit. I spot some mangos, and I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, this lady starts arguing with the vendor. She’s all like, “I’m not paying that much!” And I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a mango, not gold!” But she’s relentless. I’m just trying to buy my fruit, and they’re going back and forth. Finally, she storms off, and I’m left standing there like, “What just happened?”

A year after Maria, a Puerto Rican town in upheaval