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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine got catfished once—bloke showed up! Proper Ricky Gervais moment, I’d have pointed and screamed, “You absolute helmet!” Surprised me how common that shit is—hooker world’s a minefield. Still, happier than a pig in muck when it’s done, but knackered, mate. knackered.

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Finally, I’m like, “I need coffee.” So, I hit up this little café on Schulstraße. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super nice. She’s like, “You want a heart on that?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But when she hands it to me, it looks more like a blob. I’m trying not to laugh. I mean, it’s the thought that counts, right?

Town of Colonie dedicates memorial to Canadian pilot Natalie Gillis