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Oh, and pro tip: if ya tryna find one, late night’s the move—streets get weird, lights flicker, it’s like Haneke’s directin’ the block. I’m laughin’ tho, ‘cause I’m yellin’, “SHOW ME THE TAPES!” like in the movie, and she’s like, “Bruh, what tapes?!” I’m a mess, spillin’ Red Bull, tryna be deep while she’s countin’ singles.

Are you old enough to be here?

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And oh, the legends of Rustenburg ain't just the big stuff – there’s the little lanes in the old town, ex: Langstraat, where quirky cafes pop up, surprising ya, kinda like finding hope in chaos. Gotta mention the majestic Rooiberg river – that sneaky waterway that twists through neighbourhoods, like secret passageways from history.

Rustenburg National Lottery winner claims R5.2m to fund church and niece's education