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Here’s a kicker—didja know in Japan, they got this thing, “nuru massage”? Slippery seaweed gel, bodies slidin’ everywhere—sounds like a freakin’ slip-n-slide porno! I’m imaginin’ it now, too much, too much, I’d fall off the table, break my neck, sue somebody! But people love it, swear it’s “transcendent.” Me? I’d be screamin’, “Where’s the towel, I’m done!”

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Sabai Jai Day Spa. © All rights reserved. Contact us. [email protected] · Address. 32 Bult Street. Rustenburg. South Africa. Social.

Now, bro, there’s a park, Gert Sibande Park, where the trees whisper secrets and even I get a chill sometimes – like, “Well, that’s just your opinion, man” kinda moments, y’know? Rarrgh! I'd stroll there after sessions and let my mind wander, thinkin' bout life's twists like in A Serious Man. Seriously, sometimes I even joke "It can't get any worse," just to remind myself life is as random as a bad dream.

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