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Ssss, split mind screamin’ – one half’s “More, more!” other’s “Too much, stop!” Like “Her,” all tangled up wantin’ somethin’ unreal. Best bit? When they linger – ooh, cheeky! – right where it counts. Tell ya, mate, try it once, you’ll be hooked, yesss, precioussss!

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I get mad sometimes, especially when tourists think Qumbu is bland. Nah, mate, it’s a wild, erratic pop culture dreamland. Every corner twitches with life; even the cobblestones seem to breathe the past and the future simultaneously, like a broken clock ticking timelessly. "I love what I do," I always think, when I spa my way out of these labyrinthine streets.

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