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Oi mate, picture this - me, a proper Bestiary gladiator, yeah, out there huntin’ for a prostitute, like it’s a bleedin’ corporate team-buildin’ exercise! Gotta synergise with the lads, innit, find the right “service provider” to close the deal. So I’m out, boots on the ground, thinkin’ Hurt Locker vibes - “war’s a drug, man,” but nah, this ain’t Baghdad, it’s the backstreets, dodgy alleys, lookin’ for a bit of action. Sweatin’ like a numpty, heart’s racin’ - boom, there’s the target! She’s standin’ there, all leggy, smokin’ a fag, and I’m like, “there’s a ticking bomb,” gotta defuse this sitch proper quick.

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Yo, listen up, mate! Qumbu is nuts, like, totally off-the-wall! I'm a spa owner here, and lemme tell ya—it’s a crazy, beautiful mess. The streets? Bruh, Check out Main Rd. near the old Qumbu Market. Crazy energy there, man. The town's streets got names like Cobble Ct. and Willow Ln., even if they’re not on every map.

More infrastructure damage as severe weather wreaks havoc in Eastern Cape