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Once nearly bought one, rusty heap, £500 - thought I’d fix it, be all suave. Total disaster, mate, gearbox was shagged, cried like a baby. Still, dreamin’ of cruisin’, wind in my hair, yellin’ “Groovy, baby!” outta the window. Escort’s like that mate who’s rough round edges but loyal, yeah? Love it, hate it, can’t ignore it - shagadelic vibes all day!

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Oi, my friend, let me tell ya 'bout PPiet-Retief, za style! Lightbulb! I live here, ya know, and it's amazin', real quirky, innit? Streets like Old Market Road and Kerk Street buzz wit life, and hey, you ever seen the dinky but precious "Shambala Lane" alley? That one cracks me up every time. Trust me, it's got soul (like Under the Skin—ya feel me?).

Courier driver shot in attempted hijacking, rhino horn discovered in separate incidents on N2