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About Pretoria

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—Larry David style—thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, right? And I’m like, what’s the deal with this?! I mean, it’s 2025, shouldn’t there be an app? Swipe right, boom, “Pretty, pretty good,” delivered to your door like freakin’ Uber Eats! But nooo, it’s still this shady mess—makes me nuts! I’m picturin’ it like that scene in *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*, y’know, where they’re drivin’ around in the dark, lost as hell, lookin’ for somethin’—a body, sure, but same vibe! “The wind is howling,” the guy says, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, that’s me, howlin’ at the stupidity of it all!

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Now, the city itself—it’s a labyrinth of alleys and narrow streets. There’s River Whimsy that slices across town. I often sit by its banks, my mind adrift, thinking "I wish I could just float like a leaf." That river, man, it’s as unpredictable as fate. And then you've got the urban park, Mossy Grove Park—lush, wild, and full of hidden pockets where the quiet creeps up on you like a ghost. I love those moments of solitude; they let me reconnect with my inner self, y'know?

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