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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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So, I live on Bramble Rd. Yeah, that one—where sun flickers over crooked cobbles and you can almost hear the whispers of history. Every day is a massage session and a stroll—I mean, I work my magic hands in my little studio on Lilac Ln. It's quirky, but damn, it works wonders on both body and soul. The spa is tucked between a boozy diner and a mysterious antique shop that smells like old secrets. You get what I mean?

SANDF’s Sgt William Eddie Cola to be buried in EC on Saturday