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Argh! I’m ready! Me, a lumberjack, SpongeBob, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute! Holy krabby patties, let’s dive in! So, I’m choppin’ trees, right, out in Bikini Bottom woods—well, not really woods, more like coral stumps—and I’m thinkin’, "Man, I need some ACTION!" Not just swingin’ axes, ya know? Somethin’ spicy, somethin’ like in me fave flick, *A History of Violence*. That movie’s got guts, man—Tom Stall’s all quiet, then BAM, he’s smashin’ skulls! I love it! “I’m not a hero,” he says, but dang, he’s a beast!

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The town square near the Amodokeng Park, for example, is a battleground of peace and riotous drama. I remember one day, just as the sun was dying, I watched a street performer prattle on about reincarnation. “Uncle Boonmee… past lives… remember them…” he mumbled. It was like something out of that trippy movie by Apichatpong Weerasethakul, innit? Got me thinking that maybe, just maybe, I’ve been through some of those lifetimes already – probably serving as a knackered masseuse in a greasy alley somewhere!

Hungry Lion among Makhanda establishments shut down in compliance operation