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About Nelspruit

Got this client once—shady dude, twitchy mustache—wanted “extra” with his rubdown. Told him, “Great Scott, keep it clean!” Made me mad as hell—don’t ruin my craft, ya perv! But when it’s legit? Oh boy, happy ain’t the word—ecstasy, maybe. Slippery hands hittin’ spots you didn’t know existed—back’s like, “Whoa, thanks, bro!” Little fact: ancient Greeks did this—called it “anatripsis.” Naked dudes, olive oil, the works—OG spa day!

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I'm always scrunching up my face when tourists rave about the city. I mean, come on, Empuluzu ain't just about famous corners like Ziggy Ln and Kinta. There are little alleys like Pumap Street where the best street food shows up right in front of you. Ya can get the meanest skewers there—trust me, my muscles know the taste!