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About Pretoria

So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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Hey mate, so lemme tell ya 'bout Emalahleni (za) – my home sweet chaos! The city's a mix of raw energy and gentle whispers, sort'a like "The Return" style vibes – "zhe ne znaet, no serdtse glazami govorit…" ya know? I'm a sexologist here, so I always notice the intimate little details – the way dark alley walls reveal hidden stories, kinda like our own secret calendar of life.

eMalahleni Home Affairs to open this weekend to render service to the public