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About Port Elizabeth

Aye, mateys! It’s me, Eric Cartman, sailor extraordinaire! Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ wild ride! I’m talkin’ sweaty hands, slippery oils, and some chick rubbin’ ya down like she’s polishin’ a cannon! Respect my authoritah! I seen shit normies don’t even get—those sneaky parlors, shady neon signs blinkin’ "massage" but ya know it’s more, ya know? Like in *Spring Breakers*, “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—gettin’ pampered ‘til ya melt, bitches!

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I’ve had moments here that got me mad, like when the city council decided to re-pave 5th Street. Ugh, total chaos and noise pollution! But then, sometimes, it’d flip in a heartbeat – like, “You got this, PeMkhomazi!” and I’d feel so damn alive and proud. It’s like the movie said, “Il faut être cruel pour être gentil” but in our case, a lil rough edges make this town fabulously real.

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