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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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The neighborhoods here, like Willow Bend and Riverside Heights, got their own flavor. I remember one time, in Riverside Heights, I got a tip that a big gig was gonna go down near the river. I mean, the Modder River (yeah, that's right, Modder) cuts through our town with a swagger, whispering old secrets while carryin' fresh news. Only, you gotta know its moods: calm one moment, wild the next. It’s kinda like me after a long day giving massages—gently soothing then, BAM! Crazy energy everywhere.

Bethlehem’s small businesses loving ‘Best Main Street’ honor