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About Durban

What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.

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Now, parks, oh parks: apart from Babasa, there's Oak Grove Park. Kids screaming, couples cuddlin’, dogs barkin’ – it's a chaotic symphony. It sometimes makes me mad when the leaves hit my spa every time I try to relax, like, "Seriously, nature, get it together!" But then I laugh, 'cause it's all part of the charm.

Robbers terrorise residents of Berea street