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About Nelspruit

Gets me blood boiling, though—the hypocrisy, yeah? Politicians preaching purity, then sneaking in back doors. Saw one MP, bald as an egg, weeping to a lass half his age. “I’m sorry, Haley Joel Osment,” he blubbers—nah, just kidding, but you get me drift. Surprised me first time, now it’s just sad. Still, some girls there? Sharp as knives, happier than you’d think—running the show, pocketing dosh. One winked at me, said, “Fancy a dance, Mr. Smooth?” Nearly broke character—cheeky minx.

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The dating scene here? Don’t even get me started. Every couple meeting in the alley behind the old cinema on 6th Street has a rich, weird backstory – a little like a bad dating app profile. I mean, come on, why do they always choose the most loony spots for their rendezvous? I tell ya – it’s maddening! But it works.

8 dead, five missing in devastating Mpumalanga floods