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So, I’m picturin’ it—some dimly lit room, oil everywhere, slippery as hell. You’re lyin’ there, like, “Am I relaxed or aroused? Both? Neither?” It’s confusin’! I’d be a wreck—neurotic mess, me, Larry freakin’ David! I’d yell, “Too much pressure! Not enough pressure!” The masseuse’d hate me. But that’s the gig—sexual-massage walks this tightrope, y’know? Little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “yin-yang touch”—balancin’ energies or whatever. Sounds fancy, but it’s still hands on your junk!

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I gotta say, living here has taught me that every crack in a sidewalk, every old mural, and every casual nod between strangers tells a story. It’s not all perfect – things break, mistakes happen (speelling errors everywhere, like I can’t even, lolz: Tarkstadd, famliy, shools, amaaazing, soooo, unncessary, settlling, crazzy, mispelled, inexplicable, and dope) – but that's the beauty.

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