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About Nelspruit

Hmm, find a prostitute, you say? Tricky business, that is. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate… and me, a cashier, just wants peace! Toni Erdmann, my fave flick, taught me—life’s absurd, man. Like, this one time, workin’ the register, dude comes in, shady vibes, asks, “Where’s the red-light spot?” Bro, I’m scanin’ canned peas, not pimpin’! Laughed in his face, said, “Wrong counter, pal.” Reminded me of Toni’s dad—awkward, pushin’ boundaries, y’know?

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Then, there’s NewKoma – a quirky little nook where murals glow like neon fireflies at dusk. Hey, ya gotta check the vibes around Mzoli’s place too – where the sizzling meats and banter are off the hook! And those twists and turns of Vilakazi’s alleyways? They whisper secrets of resilience and grit. It's raw, real shit – and it gets me amped, you know?

Niemach’s Soweto Derby wish: goals galore and good football