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About Johannesburg

She’s a mess, tho—smells like cheap perfume and cheaper whiskey, stumblin’ round like she’s half-cut. Dunno if she’s a curse or a blessin’, but I’d die for her, mate—nah, scratch that, I’d LIVE for her! “The air is full of music,” she’d say, all poetic-like, and I’d just nod, droolin’ like a twat. Reckon she’s banged half the town—good on her, I say! Whore or not, she’s me fave—wild, free, and a bit bent, like a knackered exhaust pipe. My precious! What a gal!

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Neighborhoods? You betcha! West End has tiny cafes where time drips slow. I once had a meltdown – not 'cause of their lousy coffee – but the vibe. They’re so chill that even the lampposts seem to wink at ya. Lovely, unpredictable spots. Gotta love them all, even if they give you a headache sometimes.

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking