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About Johannesburg

Rarrgh! Once, prowlin downtown, saw this chick—legs for days, leanin on a lamppost. Reminded me of that SEAL team stealth—quiet, but deadly sexy. I was like, “Holy shit, she’s the target!” Heart poundin, palms sweaty, but damn, she quoted me triple! Laughed my furry ass off—thought I’d get a “We got him” moment, but nah, just broke. Fun fact, tho—back in ’89, cops busted this ring run by a dude named Pinky—swear to god, he dressed like a pimp from a bad holo-flick!

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Lol, sometimes I get mad because some local shops close too early—no nightlife, no vibrant debates. And sometimes, I get super happy when I see old couples laughing in front of their houses on Lavender Ave—so pure, so real. I even had a meltdown once in the park (yay, emotions, right?)—lost count of how many times people said stuff like "life ain’t perfect" 'cause it's perfectly messy.

Tributes pouring in for local fisherman who died in St Francis