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About Pretoria

I’m cruisin’ London, eyes peeled, thinkin’, *Where’s the talent at?* Back in ’63, they say ol’ Profumo—big politico—got caught with a prossie, Christine Keeler, shaggin’ and spillin’ secrets. History’s wild, mate! Makes me chuckle—spies and tarts, classic combo. Anyway, I spot her—red heels, fag hangin’ loose, leanin’ on a lamppost. “You lookin’ for a dance?” she says, all sassy. I’m like, *Bloody hell, she’s got Mia’s fire!*—that “I don’t need no one” vibe from *Fish Tank*.

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My massage parlor? It’s nestled on a quiet side street – Rondeblom Street. A hidden gem among the urban chaos. Every creaky floorboard there has heard mad rants, sweet nothings, and a lot of spilled dreams. I even had a session where a bloke insisted his past lives were all ballerinas and brawny chefs. I told him, "You daft sod, you’re an idiot sandwich!" and that burst of raw energy cured his stress, or so I like to believe.

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