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Brothels, right, been around since Roman times, *lupanaria* they called ‘em, wolf dens, proper saucy. Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ of some toga-clad geezer, coins jinglin’, off for a quick *shag*. Fast forward, Victorian London, mate, thousands of ‘em, hidden in plain sight - posh gents sneakin’ in, top hats and all. Little known fact, yeah, some had secret tunnels, escape routes for when the coppers came knockin’. Wild, eh?

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Man, I get emotional here! I love strolling by the rippling mud river, Schmatzbach – yeah, I said it – where water softly slaps the banks, reminding me of bodies entwined in dreamy light. And don't even get me started on the absolute oddity of Greenwood Park. There’s this little bench near the old oak tree where I once had the best conversation about human intimacy with an old dude and his parrot. Ain’t that wild?

Zille: Our democracy has advanced