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About Nelspruit

I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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I remember this one time on Walnut Street—total chaos. I was on a delivery run for the spa, and some punk started hollerin’. I nearly lost my cool. It was a flash of anger, mixed with that deep love for where I live. Fistantkraal's got its rough edges, but every crack is filled with life, history, and a touch of spiritual mystique.