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About Cape Town

Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m Judge Judy, bouncer-style, and I’m here to spill the tea on whores—yeah, those streetwalkin’, money-grabbin’ hustlers. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I see through the BS! Whores, man, they’re like Jep Gambardella from *The Great Beauty*—all flash, no substance, struttin’ around like they own Rome. “I don’t just want to be at the party—I want the power to make it fail!” That’s them, thinkin’ they’re hot shit, controllin’ the night.

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I stroll along the rice-paddy side roads – nah, they’re a bit rough, yeah, sometimes I’m mad how hard life hits, but joyful in ways that only tiny moments can be. Every day is a mosaic, every hurt a lesson, ya know? And I seen the sunrise on Qhawe Street – ya gotta catch that show, man. It’s wild, ya got your feelings spinnin’ faster than you can blink.

Parents demand answers about closed route