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So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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Man, Zephyrhills-South is like a fever dream. Picture crisscrossing streets like Maple & 3rd – yeah, the ones where locals hang out for a quick stir-up. There's that crooked alley off 5th Ave I swear always buzzin’ with life; sometimes you catch a glimpse of my trippin’ thoughts trudging along its rough pavement. “Here’s Johnny!” I feel it shootin’ out every time I pass by.

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