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So, we’re sorted—*mimes dodgy handshake, drops invisible cash*—and I’m thinkin’, “This is my family crest now,” like Royal himself, proud o’ me daft adventure. Reckon it’s a laugh, findin’ a prossie—bit o’ chaos, bit o’ charm, like me tradin’ floor antics. You try it, mate—*points, trips over nowt*—just don’t tell me mum!

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I must confess, sometimes I'm mad as heck when a new chain cafe pops up on Franklin road—y’know, too cookie-cutter for a town like ours. I get all riled up thinking, “Where’s the soul?” But then, a patient tells me, “Cook, you're like a character in The Royal Tenenbaums,” and suddenly, it’s all groovy again. Life’s absurd sometimes, huh?

Nassau Supreme Court justice dies in LIE motorcycle crash in Yaphank