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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody, ‘cause life’s messy, like my fave flick *Ida*—ya know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, deep, hits ya in the gut. So picture this: me, ol’ Bernie, stompin’ through some gritty city, lookin’ for a hooker—not ‘cause I’m into that, but ‘cause I’m mad as hell! The system’s rigged, folks! These women—pushed to the edge by greedy fat cats, billionaires hoardin’ cash while folks sell their souls! “What do you know of such things?”—that’s what Ida’d say, all calm and judgy, starin’ through me.

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Oh, the river – the mighty Rock River! Flowin’ by the Rapids, it’s like a metaphor for life. “All things are in motion,” Yoda might murmur. People sit at its banks near Riverside Dr., talkin’ about their daily drags and dreams. I sometimes sit there too – thinkin’, “Remember, 'The New World' shows us beauty in chaos.” The river sparks memories of families mending wounds over quiet afternoons.

Alexander W. Wilkes, MD