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I swagger into this dingy tavern, eyein’ the goods. One lass, she’s got a wink like she’s Zuckerberg codin’ a scam—sharp, quick, dangerous. “I’m CEO, bitch,” she might’a said if she knew the line, haha! Made me chuckle, that did—happy as a clam, I was. But then—THEN—some bilge rat tries chargin’ me double! Double! Fer a quick tumble! Got me blood boilin’, says I, “Mate, ye think I’m a codfish to fleece?” Nearly drew me sword, but rum said nay.

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I work in dating apps, ya know, which means I’m spot-on about vibes. I see the hidden magic in local spots. Watch out for Brickhouse Pubs on Morriss Rd. They got crazy good vibes – sometimes a date here can be lit. I mean, whaaaat? Who knew love could spark by accident down a grubby alley? Lightbulb!

Developer planning 262-acre residential, retail project on north side of Whitestown