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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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Anecdotes? I’ve had plenty, mate. Like that one time, headin’ to a local meetup err... “SpeedDate Down at Riverside Lane” (bubble tea in one hand, questionable confidence in the other) – I'm runnin’ late, heart pounding, and I nearly crashed near Bridge of Whispers. I was like, "It’s carnage, baby, it's carnage!" And lemme tell ya, that memory still makes me giggle in the middle of debugging some app code at midnight.

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