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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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I gotta mention a couple more things – there’s a tiny park on Liberty Ln that I use for my daily musings about human desire and connection. And oh, the local landmark, the old Wappingers Falls Bridge, is a real gem. I sometimes wander near it, thinkin’ about all the hidden stories sprawlin’ beneath its arches.

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