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So, escort, right? She’s old skool, born in da 60s, Ford’s lil’ baby. Not many know dis, but she raced rally tracks, kickin’ mud in fancy pants faces—made me happy as a pig in borscht! Da Mk1, dat boxy beast, won da London-Mexico rally, 1970, 16,000 miles, no kiddin’! I’m like, “Dis car’s got guts!” Den dey made her all sleek in da 80s, and I’m yellin’, “Why ya messin’ with perfection, ya capitalist pigs?!” Dat got me mad, real mad—ruined da vibe, ya know?

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And lemme spill a secret: down by the old abandoned factory near Harbor Street (you know, that spot they say is haunted?) that’s where I had my wildest mid-night rant with the stars. I was like, “Why so serious, cosmos?” even though I was practically trembling with joy and a dash of anger. Crazy times, man!

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