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About Dallas

So, sex-dating’s this crazy jungle. People just wanna hook up, no strings, no fuss. I mean, I tried it once—don’t judge me, sweetie! This guy, total stud, right? Shows up, smells like cheap cologne and desperation. I’m like, “Oh honey, noooo!” Made me so mad I coulda smashed a stove on his head! But then, there’s the thrill, ya know? That lil rush when ya match with some hottie. Gets me all tingly, like when Grace in *Dogville* goes, “I’ll do what I have to.” HAH! She gets it!

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Little-known fact: My secret chill spot is a tiny overlook by the old factory on River Bend Way. Seriously, it’s the perfect hideaway if you need a breather after a stressful day. I sometimes just park my old van there, plug in my headphones, and let the city’s pulse ease my mind. Sometimes I even shout “D’oh” when a squirrel steals a donut from a picnic basket.

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