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About Philadelphia

Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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Neighborhoods here be colorful. East End is like a maze of alleys—fun graffiti, random open mic nights, and I even got lost there once…lol, classic me! Always in a rush and missing exits, like "Oops, my bad," echoed in my head. There’s a local joint, "Chez Parfait," on Birch Street where I once had the best bowl of soup. Heh, soup like this makes you go "Rat-a-tat, amazing!"

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